Monday, May 9, 2011
Once again the Lord has called us to walk through the valley of loss. Just weeks ago I was looking forward to sharing our news when I passed the end of the first trimester. But it was not God's plan for it to be that way. Yesterday, we buried yet another baby, our little Faith Jordan. She joins her siblings Chloe Marie and Nathaniel James and one other little one we never saw. Mother's Day has been bittersweet today, as I look at the three blessings the Lord has allowed us to raise, I am thankful. But my heart aches for the four little ones that the Lord chose to take home to be with Him. Other times it has seemed easier to accept His will. This time it feels harder. I know that He is a God that loves me and chooses best, according to His plan. I know He sees the big picture and He knows the reasons why. But sometimes I just wish He would let me in on that. Yet each time I ask Him, the answer I get is "Be still and know that I am God". So I walk in faith, with my heart aching and my eyes filled with tears, trusting that the God who made the universe is worthy of my trust, that He knows exactly what He is doing, and that it is for good.